First Official Fertility Appointment
I had my first official appointment about fertility last Friday.
Let me just say…my life feels like a mess right now.
There is a lot of turmoil at both of my hourly jobs right now which is adding a lot of stress to my life so I feel like I need to write about that too. So I work at two different churches - one as preschool teacher and one as the A/V Coordinator. At both churches the lead pastor is quitting and at my preschool job the director of the preschool is also quitting, in the middle of the school year, and to top it all off MY teaching partner is becoming the interim director and I just found out that I ‘get to’ train and work with not one but two different substitute teachers for the remainder of the school year. At my A/V job the main turmoil is that I haven’t been getting the benefits that I should have been getting such as sick days and vacation days for the past year. When I first started about a year and a half ago, my boss went out of her way to tell me that I don’t get those benefits and is now actively fighting for me to not have them because I only work there 20 hours a week. But the way the employee handbook is written - I should have been getting them all along.
So back to fertility - at my appointment I went in and did the normal waiting thing, then the nurse brought me back to the room, took my measurements - weight, blood pressure, blood oxygen, and asked when my last period was, I told her that I had just started my period that day. She leaves - I wait. My doctor walks in and says, “So, you haven’t been getting your period.”
And I’m confused in the moment but looking back I’m pissed. Why the fuck do I have to tell everyone when my period was every time I walk into that place if the DOCTOR doesn’t even look at my chart before she walks in my room. Like clearly doc, you haven’t even read my file, I’m on my period TODAY, and the last time I came in here you told me that I should call you if I had another cycle that was longer than 4 weeks - that was in July - 6 months ago. I would have called if I wasn’t getting my period!
But in the moment I’m just confused. So I’m all, “No, I’m actively on my period and I’ve gotten it every month since I’ve gone off the pill 10 months ago.” And all she says is, “Oh, that’s a good sign. At least your body is having periods.”
Like what the fuck does that even mean?! NO! If I’m not ovulating, I for fucks sake do not want to have to deal with my period. Do I not get any perks from my body not working right? So you are telling me I’m not ovulating and I still have to have my period every fucking month anyway? WTactualF?
Then my doctor just rambles on about on my next cycle I have to take femara on day 3-7 and then I have to start taking ovulation tests everyday starting on day 10 and I have to call if I get a positive test and then I’ll have to come in 7 days after the positive to take a progesterone blood test. If I don’t get a positive by day 22, then I also have to call and they will up my dosage. Then if I haven’t gotten my period by day 30 I’m supposed to take a pregnancy test.
Like there were no options given, there were no questions asked, there was no consideration that my husband get his junk tested - nothing. Just, here’s a drug - go take it.
Maybe this is the only thing they know how to do, maybe this is the only thing TO DO. But it just felt icky. Like just so impersonal and prescriptive and un-empathetic.
I pushed back a bit and got my husband orders for a semen analysis just to be sure.
But I also looked up the drug prices and femara is for sure the brand name - it’s over $700 per cycle! That’s fucking crazy! The generic version - letrozol (SP?) - is way cheaper - like $100/cycle or something like that. I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me but it was an INSANE difference. I’m for sure going to be asking for the generic version.
But if all goes well with the spermy tests then I will be on the drugs this time in February. hooray?!
I feel a little crazy at the moment so I’m not sure how I feel about everything. I think I’m letting my job stress take over my brain and pushing baby making stress to the back burner. I can only deal with so much stress at one time and job stress seems like the most imminent threat at the moment.
I don’t know. How did you feel when you found out your “treatment plan” for infertility?