How to Thrive Within the Waiting
*Disclaimer*
The phrase "Thrive Within the Waiting" came from a poem from my favorite poet, Morgan Harper Nichols. Look her up on Intsagram. She is amazing.
I know 8 different fertility diets, I know all the stupid internet lingo for ttc, I've learned how to track my ovulation in at least 3 different ways, I've read everything I could possibly read about conception. I've done all the research I can on that front. At this point I can't even find new or different articles about trying to conceive.
So now what?
For my own sanity I've got to find some way to be productive while waiting to become pregnant. It feels weird to look up practical things about pregnancy because then what will I read when I'm actually pregnant?
So I made a list of things I can research, do, think about, read, and talk about, while I'm still waiting to get pregnant. Things that will make me a better person and a better mom in the long run.
Productive Things To Do so you can Thrive Within the Waiting
In no particular order
Research different parenting styles that you might want to try
Then use your imagination and create your own style
Think about how you would react if your child... (Do research if you don't know how you would react or if you don't like your reaction)
was born with an intellectual disability
was born with a physical disability
was born gay/trans
was born intersex
is born not looking like you (biracial)
becomes diagnosed with Tourette's, schizophrenia, etc.
is a bully/gets bullied
gets arrested/in trouble as a teenager
gets a speeding ticket
becomes a parent as a teenager
told you that they have been abused (sexually, physically, mentally)
asks about sex
asks about where babies come from
said they hated you
Work on your relationship with your partner (if you have one)
Work on communication with your partner or planned caretakers
Establish traditions with your partner that children could be added into in the future
Holidays
Meals
Morning Routines
Bedtime Routines
Establish traditions with your partner for just yourselves
Date Night
Sexy Time
Make a plan on how to continue these traditions when children do enter the picture
Reflect on how you were raised
Let go of the idea of making up for your childhood with your children's
Let go of the hurt from your past so that you can be the best parent for your child
Embrace the traditions that you loved as a child but look at them from your parents perspective so that you can figure out how to continue them
Discuss how you will resolve conflict
Do you have to convince the other person?
Does one person take the lead on parenting and one take the lead in some other area?
Make peace with your diet
Walk more. Work up to the recommended 5 miles a day
Meditate daily
Reflect on what you are or are not willing to give up for you baby. Make a plan for letting go of the things you can. Make a plan for keeping the things that you are not willing to give up. Make a plan B in case your original plan doesn't work (always ask yourself, can I outsource this?).
Friends
Work
Pets
Clean House
Being on Time
Sleep
Money
Your Body
Spontaneity
Your Identity (You are now Sarah's Mom)
Privacy
Looking Put Together
Sex
Relationship
Adult Conversations
Feeling Like an Expert
Free Time to Do Nothing
Be Selfish
Be Sick
Watch your TV shows
Wear White
Leave the house quickly
Read chapter books
Control
Wasting TIme
Silence/Quiet Time
Showering
What will you do if you can't get pregnant naturally?
adoption
embryo adoption
fertility treatments
Whew...that's a lot of things to do and research. What did I forget? What would you add to the list? What did you talk with your partner about when you were trying to conceive? Have you done any of the things on this list?
This list is ever evolving as I think of more things to think about and do. So please let me know in the comments below! I'd love to hear your thoughts!