Surviving Mother's Day without Mom

Surviving Mother's Day without my Mom is difficult.  Mother's Day is not the easiest of holidays for those of us who have lost their mothers.  My mom passed away from breast cancer in 2007 and not a single one of the Mother's days since then have been easy.  Read below for my tips on surviving Mother's Day without Mom. 

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Ways I Survive Mother's Day Without My Mom

1. Recognize early that it's coming.

Before May even comes around on the calendar I tell myself to prepare.  One year I didn't realize that it was coming up and the holiday snuck up on me.  That was not a pleasant weekend.

2. Talk to someone about it.

Find someone to talk to about it.  A therapist, a friend you can trust, your partner, a grief support group.  Someone.  Talking about how much this 'holiday' sucks can help get rid of some of the suckyness.  For me it just feels better to say out loud how much it suck to not have a mother anymore.  

3. Let out your feelings.

Sometimes on Mother's Day I feel angry, sometimes sad, sometimes annoyed at all the stupid happy people.  Don't be afraid to let it out.  Scream, Cry, Complain to your friend that has also lost a parent.  People can understand that you have messy emotions related to this day even if they can't fully understand what it feels like for you.  

4. Remember the people you DO have.

Call your grandmas, call your aunts, call your mom's best friend who always checks up on you.  Go to dinner with your dad and siblings and see how they're doing.  Tell your best friend who just had a baby how great of a mom she really is.   Tell your stepmom that you appreciate all that she does for your family (even if it's difficult to recognize her on this day).  

5. Remember all the great things about your Mom.

Go through old photo albums or your digital archives. Think back on all the good times you had with your mom.  Remember the birthdays you celebrated, the family dinners you had, the game nights and movie nights, the Halloweens, the Thanksgivings, the cookie making for the holidays.  Remember the good times and don't be afraid to smile and laugh about them.  

 

What do you do to survive Mother's Day without your mom?  Let me know in the comments below.

 

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The first time you truly appreciate Mother’s Day will be the first time you spend it without one.
— Linda Poindexter