I've been trying to write down my story because I thought it would be freeing but I've been having a lot of resistance to it. It's stopped me from writing all together.  And I'm not really sure why.  I feel like it's not finished. I feel like it's not good enough.  It doesn't have a point. It isn't ever going to be finished. I haven't organized it enough. It doesn't make sense. I'm leaving to much out. It doesn't explain who I am. It doesn't have a point. What's my point?  It doesn't have a focus because I don't have a focus. 

Maybe I can't finish it because I don't feel finished.  I don't feel like I know what my point is.  What comes up for me is helping kids and mothers be less stressed. Being a mother is most def my calling and I'm working on that but I want to help other mother's be more peaceful.  I want kids to have someone to talk to who doesn't check their phone the whole time.  I want kids to play.  I want my kids to be freer than me. For my future kid, I want to show her how to really in her heart how to not give a shit about what the world thinks of her.  I want her to believe in her own innate wisdom and power that she will have received just for being born.  I want her to be free to do literally anything that she wants to do in this life.  I want her to be free of judgement from me or her father or the world.  I want to be a strong role model for her on how to do all these things.

I want her inner voice to be more positive than mine has been in the past.  I want her to play and use her imagination and not apologize for being her true self.  I want her to be 100% herself 100% of the time. When I have kids, I want to do something at home to make a living.  I don't know how I could ever be apart from her. Anyone I took care of, I would want the same things for them that I would want for my kids. 

Every time I sit down to write this idea comes up.  Working from home that is.  As I become more aware of myself the idea grows more in alignment with myself as well.